The pressures of our lives can often leave us feeling like we have to be perfect. We have to have a clean house, a green and immaculate garden, a polished car, brilliant and fabulous relationships with everyone, and do all of this in between eating healthily and exercising regularly.
Have you ever thought:
- I wish I knew the ‘perfect’ thing to say
- I wish I had the ‘perfect’ job
- I just need the 'perfect' outfit
- when our renovations are done our house will be ‘perfect’?
Because if we don't we are afraid that we might be unworthy; unworthy of a promotion, unworthy of praise, even unworthy of acceptance. Performance appraisals at work, interpersonal relationships, role of wife, partner, parent can all bring with them the pressure of feeling like we need to be perfect.
I wonder what would happen if your Manager turned around tomorrow and said to you and your team, ‘I don’t need you to get everything right all the time. In fact what is more important to me is that I want you to work doing those things that you are great at, use your talents and strengths more often. If it means that you get things wrong occasionally that is okay.’
Wouldn’t that blow your mind?
In our search to be perfect we lose sight of our own uniqueness. By comparing ourselves to others who we think are perfect in some way we can fall into the trap of thinking ‘if only I was more like that person’, and trying to ‘keep up with the Jonses’. We try to become something that we are not, and in the process lose who we are. Instead we need to move towards being real, and being okay with the stuff-ups.
There are times when we are less then perfect, when we lose it, when we make mistakes, when we stuff up, when our homes/cars/clothes are less then perfect, when we get embarrassed and fall-short.
Instead of seeing these moments as ‘imperfections’ these very moments are what make us REAL. It is these flaws and these lessons that enrich our lives and provide us with the platform for true brilliance. People connect with us and others when we are real, humble and human. It is what unites all of us.
You are not asked to be PERFECT but just to be REAL.