You are not asked to be PERFECT....only REAL

The pressures of our lives can often leave us feeling like we have to be perfect. We have to have a clean house, a green and immaculate garden, a polished car, brilliant and fabulous relationships with everyone, and do all of this in between eating healthily and exercising regularly.

Have you ever thought:

-       I wish I knew the ‘perfect’ thing to say

-       I wish I had the ‘perfect’ job

-       I just need the 'perfect' outfit

-       when our renovations are done our house will be ‘perfect’?

Because if we don't we are afraid that we might be unworthy; unworthy of a promotion, unworthy of praise, even unworthy of acceptance. Performance appraisals at work, interpersonal relationships, role of wife, partner, parent can all bring with them the pressure of feeling like we need to be perfect.

I wonder what would happen if your Manager turned around tomorrow and said to you and your team, ‘I don’t need you to get everything right all the time. In fact what is more important to me is that I want you to work doing those things that you are great at, use your talents and strengths more often. If it means that you get things wrong occasionally that is okay.’ 

Wouldn’t that blow your mind?

In our search to be perfect we lose sight of our own uniqueness. By comparing ourselves to others who we think are perfect in some way we can fall into the trap of thinking ‘if only I was more like that person’, and trying to ‘keep up with the Jonses’. We try to become something that we are not, and in the process lose who we are. Instead we need to move towards being real, and being okay with the stuff-ups.  

There are times when we are less then perfect, when we lose it, when we make mistakes, when we stuff up, when our homes/cars/clothes are less then perfect, when we get embarrassed and fall-short. 

Instead of seeing these moments as ‘imperfections’ these very moments are what make us REAL. It is these flaws and these lessons that enrich our lives and provide us with the platform for true brilliance. People connect with us and others when we are real, humble and human. It is what unites all of us.

You are not asked to be PERFECT but just to be REAL. 

A mothers courage

Today I was moved by a good friend of mine sharing her experience of having a child with Duchenne. It was such an honest, heart-felt and moving piece that I asked her if I could share her words here on this blog, which she graciously agreed to. 

I believe there is immense power in women supporting other women through whatever they are facing and the fears they walk with every day. There are plenty of amazing and inspiring women who walk within our community that are coping with things that most of us would ask - how do you do it? 

Kelly, thanks for sharing your fears and courage, I support you and Brett wholeheartedly in the journey that you are walking on. I trust that others will too. 

x

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I was asked recently how I possibly cope with my son having Duchenne. My answer was "I don't know, I just do." I feel like I do the best I can to live positively with Duchenne. I look for the silver lining and jam myself in there whether there is room for me or not. That is my nature. But there is no denying it, it it is hard living this way. 

Imagine being told that your young child is going to die in a car accident when they are in their late teens or early 20s. No exact date, but it will happen, and you can't do anything to stop it. Nothing at all. But, you are also told to not give up hope, for there might be something in the next 10-15 years to give to your child that will delay their car accident, and therefore their death, to allow your child to live longer. How much longer - can't say...but it's exciting, right, right, right??!!! Yes, it is, a sad kind of exciting, but exciting none-the-less. Except, it is only designed for children with blonde hair and blue eyes, blonde hair and brown eyes, brown hair and blue eyes, or brown hair and brown eyes. There is even something that has gone through extensive trialing for kids with brown hair and green eyes, which was supposed to be ready to take by now, and is still being worked on, just taking a little longer than expected to be ready, but something all the same. Yes, really exciting, and fantastic for all those children... But your child has brown hair and grey eyes. 

What he needs to delay his car accident is the very last on the list - even though it could delay the car accidents of all children, with all hair and eye colour combinations. As it stands, there's probably no delaying your child's fatal car accident. So you continue to find yourself that silver lining, jam yourself in there, and get used to your new 'normal', and live it the best damn way you know how, because you know all too well that waiting for the car accident isn't the nightmare, the nightmare starts after the fact, when you will have to figure out a new way to live for the remaining decades of your life. 

That's what life feels like for me - it's boiled right down to the 'before' and 'after', the 'with' and 'without', and so I refuse to be anything but thankful that I am not at the moment of impact yet...and that's how I currently cope. But I think whenever I am asked, I will always reply "I don't know, I just do." It keeps things simple that way.

If you would like to support the Duchenne Foundation check out their website here.

We are never finished...and this is okay

I'm a big fan of one of the most polific bloggers on the planet, Seth Godin, and yesterday he sent through another insightful gem which I believe is particularly relevant for working Mum's who's jobs are never done. 

The main message that I took from his comments are that we need to get comfortable with the unfinished and step away from the belief that we are always working to the grind. We are never really finished and this is totally okay - see it as a dance and enjoy the moments. 

Here is Seth's blog in it's entirety for you to enjoy also: 

__________________________________

Dancing on the edge of finished

Before, when your shift was done, you were finished. When the inbox was empty, when the forms were processed, you could stop.

Now, of course, there's always one more tweet to make, post to write, words with friends move to complete. There's one more bit of email, one more lens you can construct, one more comment you can respond to. If you want to, you can be never finished.

And that's the dance. Facing a sea of infinity, it's easy to despair, sure that you will never reach dry land, never have the sense of accomplishment of saying, "I'm done." At the same time, to be finished, done, complete--this is a bit like being dead. The silence and the feeling that maybe that's all.

For the marketer, the freelancer and the entrepreneur, the challenge is to level set, to be comfortable with the undone, with the cycle of never-ending. We were trained to finish our homework, our peas and our chores. Today, we're never finished, and that's okay.

It's a dance, not an endless grind.

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/05/dancing-on-the-edge-of-finished.html

The key to happiness...

Unleash your hidden talents